In a sense I feel like a bit of a hypocrite for writing this because I still struggle from time to time with Mommy Moments. Sometimes I do okay. Like the time I went to get my son in the morning, and his head was covered in Vaseline. Had to call Poison Control in case he swallowed some (they said he was fine). Didn’t freak out (BTW there still was Vaseline in his hair seven shampoos, pcorn starch and a fine-toothed comb later). But today I was trying to get ready to go to the zoo, and my autistic four-year-old was going nuts, getting into trouble, and I slipped into freak-out mode.
However, I’m writing this post because I remember. I remember what it was like to have my first baby, how overwhelming things could be. The change from caring only for yourself to caring for a tiny human dependent on you for everything is shocking. The sleep deprivation in itself is incomprehensible. Add in little to no time for yourself, and forget it if you are a working mom or a WAHM like I am. The busyness. Oh, the busyness.
Then, if you’re insane like I am, you have another kid, sixteen months after the first one. Ha! Revelation dawns as you realize that you did have time before! You did sleep before! Now those two are the shadow of a fantasy of a bygone era.
Obviously having children is a delight and a blessing. Sometimes as a mom we feel guilty for feeling stressed out because of our blessings. How ungrateful are we? Hopefully you don’t compare yourself to other moms – I write here about how that’s a total trap.
The thing that you need to acknowledge, and I’ve mentioned it before in this post, but I feel it bears reiteration: it’s only a season.
Yes, there will be new challenges, and it will be hard in a different way, but you will sleep again – at least a little more! Your body WILL adapt. Your children will become independent, and, sadly, will not need you constantly.
Today, I have three children, ages 5, 4, and 2. My four-year-old is autistic. My two-year-old gets into the Vaseline. And the Vicks. And thrusts his fingers into the safety scissors while his brother is wildly cutting up his homework. My five-year-old talks constantly. But somehow, maybe because I’m working from home and my hours are more flexible – not sure – somehow, it’s considerably easier than it was. I have a blog! And go on dates with my husband.
My kids play nicely independently and with each other (well, the autistic one doesn’t play much with the others) and for good stretches of time, they let me do stuff I need to. In fact, if I didn’t blog, I could actually shower daily and have a clean house. Oh well! Priorities.
So don’t beat yourself up for struggling with the little ones. You are stretching to become someone amazing (2 Corinthians 3:18). The not-easy part is where you grow. We aren’t born Supermom, but after a few years in, it is really amazing what motherhood does for your character.
I know some of you are just fantasizing about having a nap right now, maybe struggling with feeling like you’re in over your head. Maybe you are. But God made you, and He made you to be a mom. As everyone keeps telling me, enjoy these moments. They’ll be gone in a heartbeat. And there’s always coffee.