Things moms with boys say

Things moms with boys say: funny parenting quotes from around the internet because seriously, our kids are so entertaining. Read them all at
As a mom of two boys, I find myself saying the craziest things on a regular basis. Such as:

“Don’t attack me with your head.”

“Don’t eat toothpaste!”

“You’re naked? Already? I thought I had more time …”

The thought occurred to me that there are oodles of moms out there with even crazier things they’ve said. So I contacted some of my mom friends, and compiled a hilarious list of things moms with boys say. Enjoy. 
Things moms with boys say: funny parenting quotes from around the internet because seriously, our kids are so entertaining. Read them all at

“Please take your hands out of your pants.” – Inez Bayardo,

“Don’t sit on that naked.” – Kendra Rae,

“Wow, you really doodled up your face!” – Julie Smeltzer,

“There will be no pewing in the house (the sound that storm troopers’ laser guns make in star wars).” – Nicole Salama Tenenbaum,

“Why is your wiener out?” – Ashley R. M.,

“Stop calling me girl! My name is mom!” – Sally A. 

“How did you find my tampons? – Ashlea M.,

“Stop making your sister smell your feet!” – Monique T. 

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“Let’s not eat Mommy’s candles or your books … again …Here, please try your Mac n cheese!” – Anna W. 

“Don’t eat the dog food. It’s for the dog.” – Stacy T.,

“No, I don’t want to hold your stink bug!” – Sharon K. 

“”As cool as it is, don’t show anyone else the easy-access “penis pocket” that came with your new undies. Yes, I know it’s cool. Just don’t show anyone, okay?” – Nichole M. ,

“We do not play with the dog’s butt.” – Raquel H.,

“Yes, heaven will be the same temperature as mommy’s chest.” Melvina M. 

“I can’t look!” – Molly A.,

“I don’t want to see another penis in random places! (they were sculpting penises out of the wax that comes with babybel cheese and sticking them random places to prank us).” – Beth W. 

Things moms with boys say: funny parenting quotes from around the internet because seriously, our kids are so entertaining. Read them all at “Does Thomas (the train) have to come to every diaper change? Don’t put Thomas there!” Ashley F.,

“We do not put toys in the toilet.” -Erin S. ,

“We wash our feet in the bath. Not in our mouth.” – Sarah E.,

“Please keep your tongue to yourself.” – Jodi M. –

“Stop putting your fingers in your brother’s butt!” – Erin B.,

“If you would like to come into my kitchen you have to put pants on!” – Kate L.,

“Watch where you’re peeing!” – Shann E.,

“Stop punching the cheese!” – Sahvana S.,

“You flushed a WHOLE HAND TOWEL down the toilet?” – Jennifer S.,

“Sing the song properly, and not with the word poo.” – Joyce H.,

What are some of the crazy things you find yourself saying as a mom?

18 Replies to “Things moms with boys say”

  1. afrugaldesteny says: Reply

    I don’t have a son, but yesterday I caught my daughter eating dog food THREE TIMES! So gross. And sometimes she’ll come up to me acting like she wants to kiss my cheek, only to lick me instead and run away laughing! Lol

  2. “Stop talking to everyone about Marijuana!”. My son confused the word Marijuana with Iguana. He just so happened to go through a phase of being obsessed with lizards and iguanas so of course he told EVERYONE about the “Marijuana” he drew, the green “marijuana” he sleeps with, etc. ? I got a lot of weird looks from strangers needless to say.

  3. Haha! This post cracks me up! So many good quotes. I don’t feel so alone in the weird, random things I say as a mom. Lol

    1. Yeah, kids are so crazy and they make us crazy too!

  4. This was hilarious. My son has this thing with saying poop lately. Like every third word out of his mouth. It must be a boy thing… lol.

    1. Hahaha! I’m looking forward to that!!

  5. sticksandgiggles says: Reply

    Omg! I love this. As a mom to a boy I say a bunch of things just list this. Great list!

  6. I have an almost 15 month old daughter & I constantly have to ask her not to bang her head on the bed. She thinks it’s hilarious. She clearly has a really tough head LOL.

    1. Geez, what is it about these guys, lol

  7. My eldest (4) sings about poo all the time or trumping in you face!! So disgusting….and every time he comes from the toilet he has no clothes on! My youngest (1) will eat anything on the floor or even his brothers plate but mainly the floor. And wont eat anything on his own plate! Boys such random beings!

    1. Lol, my youngest eats stuff off the floor like a dog without using his hands sometimes

  8. aboyandhismom1 says: Reply

    As a boy Mom, there are so many of these that I can relate to or have said on more than one occasion. Thanks for the good laugh this morning!

  9. This is so funny! (mom of 3 boys here) We once went on vacation and we said so many of these funny one-liners I thought of making a vacation t-shirt with them printed on the back in remembrance of the vacation. I wish I had because now I don’t remember them all. Yes, with boys you will say some very funny things!

    1. That’s so funny! What a great idea ?

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