You may say it’s a bit ironic that we get very little or no preparation in terms of education when it comes to one of the most important aspects of most people’s lives – being a good parent. While we learn for years and years in order to get a chance to land a job and then continue developing professionally, there’s no such system in place that would help us hit the ground running when we become parents.
Most of us just play it by ear, rely on what we experienced as children and on the advice of friends and family members. Learning by doing is a useful thing, but it has its limitations. We often fail to recognise some problems or we choose inappropriate actions to deal with them, which creates a vicious circle that is extremely hard to break. Still, many parents all over the world are doing a great job and we should learn from them. So, what can you do to be a boss mom?
Show them you love them
Your kid needs to be shown love from day one if you want them to grow up to be self-confident and capable of loving others. Your love can be expressed in different forms, but the most important thing is that you spend quality time with your kid. When they’re young, they need you to play with them, read to them and take them out to play with other kids. As they grow up, their needs change and you have to react accordingly, but they need to know that you’re there for them all the time.
Saying you love them is another simple thing we often forget, but it reinforces their sense of security. However, it will be meaningless if the child doesn’t feel that your statement is supported by your actions, which brings us to the previous point – spending quality time together.
Despite all the other obligations modern moms have these days, we should never forget that our kids are our priority. That doesn’t mean you should completely neglect everything else and make yourself a martyr, but simply that you need to learn to prioritise well. The decisions you may need to make can be quite difficult, but if you know what the most important things for you are, you shouldn’t have a lot of problems.
Don’t be afraid that putting your kids first will mean you will neglect your needs. You’ll have to make some compromises, but if you organise your time well, you’ll be able to dedicate enough time to the things that make you happy. After all, your kid can’t be happy unless you are happy!
Remember there’s nothing more valuable in your life:
Make long-term plans
Each boss mom knows that education is one of the key element of their kid’s future. What we all also know is that fees are quite expensive and that you really need to have a financial plan in place well before your loved one leaves home to study. This investment is one of the most important ones you’ll ever have to make, which means you need to know about all the available options, such as loans and grants.
What you also need to consider is the best return on investment colleges, which will give your kid more options to get a decent job that will pay off the investment as soon as possible. If you make all the right decisions and choices, you need to stick to that plan and show your kid that you are ready to support them in their pursuit of their dreams and happiness.
The fact that most kids turn to their moms when looking for physical and emotional help doesn’t mean that you are the only person in their life that should provide support. Help your kid develop a good relationship with their dad, since they too play an important role in upbringing. Even if you’re not living with him, try to set some rules that both of you will implement when it comes to your kids.
If that’s not possible for any reason, make sure your kid understands the situation and help them the best you can. Being a single mom is hard, but your child shouldn’t rely only on you. Having a family member involved to help you out is beneficial and so is a good relationship with your kid’s teachers and friends.
In a nutshell, if you want to be a boss mom, you need to know exactly what you want and work towards your goal, but be realistic about your expectations and the needs of your kid if you want to avoid frustration and tension. Remember that being a mom is difficult, but also quite rewarding.
Claire is a personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. You can find her online writing and giving tips about lifestyle and development as a regular contributor at highstylife.com.