Diaper Blowouts and the Meaning of Life

“For we are God’s handwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

The cliché that motherhood is rewarding yet challenging seems trite, but it’s true. The specific challenge I’ve faced in this season of my mommyhood is that all day long I’m constantly meeting the most mundane of needs. Most require a level of attained skill (changing a toddler diaper is a wrestling match I feel I BARELY win every time), but their deeper meaning is elusive. I know in my head that there’s a purpose, but it’s hard to imagine that cleaning the kitchen floor four to five times in a day is a significant event in my life.

It’s true that as I serve my kids and my family I’m serving Jesus. In particular, Jesus emphasizes in the Sermon on the Mount that giving in an unrequited manner is the best path to certain heavenly rewards. I’m seriously imagining the rewards piling up (although I’m not sure if me trumpeting my good deeds on the interwebs negates the possibility of reward??!!), as all day long I am serving little humans who don’t serve me back (okay, maybe Kayla a little, but seriously, it’s like 95%/5% over here).

My mom reminded me (in a really rough moment when I was questioning my sanity) that God made my personality to crave intellectual input and output. One of my favorite things to do is read science fiction and fantasy fiction novels. Two years running I have read a book a week (how is beyond me. I really do not have THAT much free time). I also love writing, obviously. Words and skillful articulation make me happy. This is a character trait grossly neglected while caring for my Mini-Mes. Sure, I started teaching my kids piano and Kayla is learning to read (she’s reading this aloud as I type), but my mind is somewhat being neglected. This is when I realized that it’s actually more of a blessing to work at home than I thought (refer to my blog entry on the Proverbs 31 woman), as my job requires creativity and critical thought.

More than this, though, I realized I needed God to speak into me my purpose for this season. I need an anthem over my life. I felt as if despite the obvious purpose of being a mother to three busy littles, there was another purpose for me, meant to anchor me in this very draining season of life. So I sought the LORD with this in mind. God, what do you have for me in this season? What’s the anthem of my life right now? I felt desperate to hear the voice of God trumpet over me His call for me in this particular season, and after seeking Him relentlessly, I believe the LORD gave me my anthem and my purpose.

The anthem over my life has been a simple mantra: “Point to Jesus.” My passion is to show Jesus to everyone. It’s more of a goal than a reality, but it keeps me anchored and focused. My purpose has been more specific and very easy to accomplish and fulfilling at the same time. My purpose is to encourage women in the LORD. I’ve done this by praying for and private messaging the ones God has laid on my heart, with the occasional (read: rare) girl date as well; also by focusing my social media efforts on scripture and inspirational posts.

If you had originally pointed out to me that I needed to reach outside of my family to minister to others, I would have been defensive and overwhelmed. Can’t you see that I’m already doing, doing, doing? Is more really required of me? But what happened as I pushed past that mentality and stepped into God’s purpose is that I actually began to feel more at peace, more fulfilled, more like my life has meaning. There was actually no extra strain or drain on me.

What is God saying about you in this season of your life? What is your purpose, beyond the obvious and the mundane? What is your life anthem for this moment? If it’s not already at the forefront of your mind, I encourage you to seek Him for this gift. You’ll be surprised at the blessing it will bring you.