I SO don’t have it all together

It happened. I became a pastor’s wife. Well, technically, I married him before he became a pastor, and he’s a worship pastor, but it’s the same concept. So lots of people see me, and know who I am. I’m not in the least obsessed with what people think of me, but with many eyes on me, representing my husband and my church, I have to be vigilant about my demeanor. 

I get it. Seriously, whatever helps people and keeps them from being offended. It’s not about me. But sometimes I feel like presenting this view of a flawless, amazing person doesn’t always help people. Not that they think I’m flawless. Clearly I don’t have supreme control over my kids, and I’m constantly recounting crazy stories of our life. But for the people who think I’m remotely close to flawless, or that such people exist, I’m here to debunk the foolishness. 

My dazzling Sunday morning look is achieved in no more than ten minutes. 

I can’t even get a shower in before church. Well … I could. It just would mean less sleep. Unfortunately, I’m not that dedicated to my appearance right now. Since my husband is the worship leader, he goes early and I’m left getting three munchkins ready by myself. 

My musical abilities were not a gift granted to me. I’m not “lucky” that I can play and sing. I worked hard to get where I’m at.

That said, talent requires cultivation, something I’ve barely done since having kids. I have some skill, but in the scheme of things, it’s not that much. 

I have to work hard to keep my calm with my kids, and I’m not always successful. 

Moms with just one kid are in awe of me with my three, and I’m mystified by the mama with seven kids. Bottom line, don’t compare. 

If you stopped by my house for a visit and it was clean, you’ve been conned. 

We rarely have people over, and when we do, getting the house presentable is exhausting. I just can’t sustain that every day; I don’t have that kind of energy. It’s not that I don’t clean. I spend more time cleaning than doing anything else. But we’ve got five mess-makers and two people who clean, so you get the idea. 

If you look at the direction and fruit of my life, you could draw a conclusion that I’ve led a charmed life. 

I’ve found that it pays to be honest with myself. First of all, I have no good apart from God. I’m not going to lie and say there aren’t good things I’ve accomplished and that God has worked into my character and understanding. I’ve done my part to allow Him to work, and He’s done miracles. 

However, I can look at myself objectively and see that there are areas I need to grow in, and areas that I’ve had victory in. 

The idea that anyone has it all together is a farce. Some people are just better at hiding their issues. 

As Christians, we are on a journey of being transformed into Christ’s image. We’re all in different places, but none of us, not even the Apostle Paul, have attained it yet (well, NOW he has). 

I’m just a regular girl trying to look like Jesus. I don’t beat myself up for my shortcomings, and I’m not puffed up about my strengths. 

With my eyes fixed on Jesus, can’t see much of myself anyway.