Book Review and Giveaway: Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents

As you may or may not know, I’m a mom with three kids, ages five, four, and two, so when I was approached to do a review of this book on parenting by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, I jumped at the chance. 

As I am not a totally new mom, some of the things in this book were less than revolutionary, but I was surprised by how much valuable sage advice this book held.  If you’re a new mom, an old mom, or know someone who is, this book is definitely something I recommend checking out. 

I’m going to share some of the quotes that I found to be especially helpful and that I think you might find to be inspirational as well. 

“When you are talking with your child while you are sending a text or doing some media-driven activity, you are cheating your child of quality time.”

As a blogger, this hits home! I work a lot from my phone, but I must intentionally reserve times of bonding with my children that are phone-free. 

“I did not know that newborns typically sleep from eleven to eighteen hours a day. I wish someone had told me that before she was born. It would have allayed some of my fears.”

I remember those days! And yet, I was still exhausted …

“None of our children slept through the night until they were three years old.”

Wow! Way to make expectations more realistic, Dr. Chapman! My five year old still wakes up at night …

“One of the most common mistakes parents make is to start potty training too early … the younger the child is when you start training, the longer it may take to reach the goal.”

You don’t hear this too often! A great encouragement to parents struggling in this area. Kayla didn’t potty train until she was three and a half. 

“Parents must distinguish between what is developmentally appropriate behavior and what is misbehavior.”

This is really important. You can expect a two year old to melt down if they miss a nap and in general not to be reasonable. Also, expecting a five year old to have the emotional maturity of an adult is unfair. 

“When a child’s love tank is low, they are more likely to misbehave.”

Such a good reminder! Just because we love our kids doesn’t mean we are communicating it in a way that is emotional constructive to them. 

“I highly recommend that you determine the consequence when you make the rule and inform the child of both the rule and the consequence of breaking the rule.”

This is something we need to work on! The more specific you are, the more your child is likely to gain from your discipline. 

“…when you are ready to administer the consequences, (make sure you) speak the child’s primary love language before and after the discipline.”

This is an excellent habit to form. Make sure your child knows they are loved while you are disciplining them and they are more likely to learn from the discipline instead of focusing on how mean and unfair they think you are. 

“When you thank your spouse for a meal they prepared, your child will likely follow your example … say to your children, ‘Let’s all thank Dad or Mom for working today so that we can have a house in which to live.'”

This has challenged me! Everyone in our house needs to work on thankfulness, and this is an all-around excellent idea. 

“If the child finds that you will listen to their complaints, they will learn to talk instead of yell.”

A great thing to remember. Just because we are the authority figure in their life doesn’t mean that showing the humility to listen isn’t one of the greatest things we can do as a parent. 

One last quote, a personal favorite:

“Neither Shannon nor I have ever heard anyone say, ‘I wish I had cleaned my house more often when my children were growing up.’ ‘I wished I had worked more.'”

This is something that can be hard to remember in the moment, but this perspective is crucial in developing a strong, loving family environment. 

Overall, this book was extremely helpful, full of the wisdom we can expect from Dr. Chapman. I would encourage you to pick up a copy for yourself or a friend. My sister is expecting her first baby, and I’m going to make sure she gets a copy. You can pick up one here on Amazon. 

Be sure to click on the image below to enter the giveaway to win a free copy of this awesome book! Giveaway ends December 17th.