In a sense I feel like a bit of a hypocrite for writing this because I still struggle from time to time with Mommy Moments. Sometimes I do okay. Like the time I went to get my son in the morning, and his head was covered in Vaseline. Had to call Poison Control in case he swallowed some (they said he was fine). Didn’t freak out (BTW there still was Vaseline in his hair seven shampoos, pcorn starch and a fine-toothed comb later). But today I was trying to get ready to go to the zoo, and my autistic four-year-old was going nuts, getting into trouble, and I slipped into freak-out mode.
However, I’m writing this post because I remember. I remember what it was like to have my first baby, how overwhelming things could be. The change from caring only for yourself to caring for a tiny human dependent on you for everything is shocking. The sleep deprivation in itself is incomprehensible. Add in little to no time for yourself, and forget it if you are a working mom or a WAHM like I am. The busyness. Oh, the busyness.
Then, if you’re insane like I am, you have another kid, sixteen months after the first one. Ha! Revelation dawns as you realize that you did have time before! You did sleep before! Now those two are the shadow of a fantasy of a bygone era.
Obviously having children is a delight and a blessing. Sometimes as a mom we feel guilty for feeling stressed out because of our blessings. How ungrateful are we? Hopefully you don’t compare yourself to other moms – I write here about how that’s a total trap.
The thing that you need to acknowledge, and I’ve mentioned it before in this post, but I feel it bears reiteration: it’s only a season.
Yes, there will be new challenges, and it will be hard in a different way, but you will sleep again – at least a little more! Your body WILL adapt. Your children will become independent, and, sadly, will not need you constantly.
Today, I have three children, ages 5, 4, and 2. My four-year-old is autistic. My two-year-old gets into the Vaseline. And the Vicks. And thrusts his fingers into the safety scissors while his brother is wildly cutting up his homework. My five-year-old talks constantly. But somehow, maybe because I’m working from home and my hours are more flexible – not sure – somehow, it’s considerably easier than it was. I have a blog! And go on dates with my husband.
My kids play nicely independently and with each other (well, the autistic one doesn’t play much with the others) and for good stretches of time, they let me do stuff I need to. In fact, if I didn’t blog, I could actually shower daily and have a clean house. Oh well! Priorities.
So don’t beat yourself up for struggling with the little ones. You are stretching to become someone amazing (2 Corinthians 3:18). The not-easy part is where you grow. We aren’t born Supermom, but after a few years in, it is really amazing what motherhood does for your character.
I know some of you are just fantasizing about having a nap right now, maybe struggling with feeling like you’re in over your head. Maybe you are. But God made you, and He made you to be a mom. As everyone keeps telling me, enjoy these moments. They’ll be gone in a heartbeat. And there’s always coffee.
I needed this tonight. My almost 4 year old was being stubborn and super emotional and my 4 month old is teething and going,through a,sleep regression…but there will be a day they are older and then I know I will miss these days.
Yeah, some day …
Aw man. This brought back some memories. My 7 and 6 year old are 14 months apart. It was rough but, it definitely got better! I was in the clear until Ayden came along lol. Love him though, wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kids are so amazing!
I feel like this week has been a compilation of these crazy mom moments. It would be so much funnier if I wasn’t living them. Two nights ago, I discovered my youngest had chipped a tooth (like 1/4 of his tooth is gone!) and his nanny isn’t sure how. Then tonight, when I was trying to get dinner on the table (really, really late for my little one because we had hockey practice for my middle late and far away) and all of a sudden I looked over because he cried out and found that he had stuck his hand in his dirty diaper and his hand was now covered in poop! I think as they grow, the hard moments are still there but change. However, your skills and confidence in being a mother grow as well. It does get easier! Great post. Thank you!
Oh my goodness! Yeah, it can get pretty intense!
I remember when my friends used to criticize and almost down right make me feel so guilty for being tired as a young single Mom. None of them had children so they had no idea my struggles. Now that my son is 7 and they are starting to have babies I find myself saying that a lot: “it gets easier”. I honestly do not think anyone can fully prepare you for life with kids.
I cannot imagine raising kids as a single mom! You’re amazing, lady ?
I am still in those days of wondering if I will feel tired forever I know we need to treasure this time becauswe it will be gone soon too quickly, but Momma is worn out
I remember that! I already feel ok most days. My kids still wake up at night from time to time, but my body has adjusted. Even to having to wake up at 6:30am!
Not to mention all the post-partum issues that can affect you as a new Mom. I finally feel like the layers of Brain fog and anxiety are peeling back and I am coming out the other side stronger, because, man that was rough!!
I agree! The hardest time in my life was after my second was born. He had heart surgery and a ton of doctors and therapists after. I had PPD. It was rough. Much easier now, even with three!
It’s as though this was written just for me! Thank you, really needed this today more than ever.
Yay! I’m glad this helped
Glad to know I’m not alone. I have a very vivacious little 2 year old girl and one on the way. Sometimes i wonder what i did to myself with the one on the way. I already love the little rugrat but knowing what I went through with the first and not having a two year old who is getting into everything (cough cough the vicks) scares me from time to time!
Though I know with Him all things are possible and maybe this second one wont be so vivacious. 🙂